Good Bye

As I write this and look at her picture it still does not seem real. At the same time it seems self-serving and ridiculous to be so torn up over a pet. But somehow, as it happens in many families, she was so much more.

Yes, Friday it was time to say goodbye. Jasmine was almost 12 and we found out in January that she had bone cancer. Since her diagnoses she had done remarkable well, even by our vet's standards. But last Sunday I noticed a change. She was still fighting with every ounce of energy she had to be where I was and follow her routines, but it was getting difficult for her. My husband and I agreed at the beginning that when her quality of life diminished we would do the responsible thing. We knew it was coming, but boy is it hard.

Funny thing is, is that she is my "husband's dog". When we married he wanted a dog. He had grown up with dogs but years of living in apartments had deprived him of that companionship. I had only had one dog when I was quite young and had grown up with cats. I didn't dislike dogs at all, I'm an animal lover. I just never thought about getting one. What set me back a little was the fact that he wanted a rottweiler. I had only know what I had seen on the news and other media of these big dogs. They didn't sound like the type of dog I wanted around my two children and daycare. To make a long story short, DH took me the breeder who was a sweet older woman who told me stories of her children and grandchildren growing up with these lovely dogs. She had a mama with pups, and I fell in love with the fact that mama let us handle her pups and just asked us for some lovin for herself. We got to pick from the litter.

My husband's dog became my shadow. She let our children dress her up, she like to play and romp with DH, but she always knew where I was. She didn't let me close a door behind me in the house, she'd scratch and whine if she couldn't nudge through it herself. She usually didn't get up until I got up in the morning, then she did her "boney dance" for a milk bone and we went outside. Whatever I had to do for the day, she would be nearby. If I was sewing, she would be on the couch in the sewing room (the only piece of furniture she was allowed on). And oh, how I will miss here when the weather warms and I can garden or take my book out to the spot we sat at under the apple trees.

So you get the picture. I'm trying to be adult and realize this is part of life, but every step I take seems to remind me that she's not here. It was weird when I realized that in the almost 12 years we have had her, I've never been alone!

I will smile at her memory soon. She left us plenty to smile about. I miss my puppy, but I thank her for being such a good friend.

~Blessings