Forward Motion

It's truly amazing how God can change one's heart in an instant. Then again, maybe it wasn't an "instant", maybe He'd been working on this for a while and I just finally caught on. That is more than likely!

Change isn't easy for most of us. I can say it doesn't bother me, it's part of life and I expect it; however when changes come they often knock me for a loop. I dropped my daughter off for her last day of high school on Tuesday and then proceeded to bawl the next half hour on my way to work. This lead to a mopey head achy day. I believe I have already mentioned I am so proud of this young lady and I truly am thrilled to see her set off and share her gifts with the world; but the transition is killer. It was hurting me, making me feel sad and washed up. I could feel God dealing with me. I knew what I needed to do but was having trouble doing it.

Then we attended the Senior Baccalaureate. The Baccalaureate is a church service for the senior class and their families. What a blessing to watch young adults from a public school honor God in their lives! The theme was wisdom, which the Bible tells us is found by always putting God first. The pastor spoke on moving forward, and that's where it clicked; not only do these teenagers finishing high school and taking the next steps in their journey have the opportunity to move forward but so don't I! And by the looks on other parents faces there were quite a few of us that felt God's touch that evening. Remembering is nice, sometimes bittersweet, but we can not live in the past. What good does it do? Oh the peace I felt! And the revelation! Though these thoughts had been trying to break through the jumbles in my mind, they didn't truly sink in until that night. God has plans for ALL of us, and we must remember that although God is unchanging, those plans will move forward and grow and change at different stages of our life. Praise God!!

Graduation was last night. What a beautiful group of youngsters. Such potential. My daughter is pursuing the criminal justice field and she is more than ready. She, as well as her classmates, have worked hard and I am sure that was just the beginning! I was so proud of her and will continue to be, but I didn't fall apart like expected. I felt God's peace, and the excitement of my daughter's future before her as well as my own. Only God can do that!

I leave you with a verse to ponder. Ask God today, what does lie ahead? He doesn't throw us away at a certain age, we seem to do that to ourselves. All things are possible. ~Blessings!

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of  me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,  I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:12-14

Accepting God's Will

Wow that title sounds intimidating! There are so many trails this post could take to explore the depths of this title, but I am merely discussing what I need to accept at this stage in my life; my children. They are growing up and leaving the nest. I promised myself for years I would handle this gracefully. I would give the a hug & a kiss, a little prayer of course and wave goodbye. I would keep busy in a multitude of ways and soon enough the visits from college would be upon me. Well, here it is, nine days from my daughter's graduation and I feel like my heart is being ripped out. My mind has wandered back to preschool and those adorable little granimal outfits, elementary school began the sports rush with teeball and soccer. It's like some sappy movie. Then suddenly I am going from sappy to sick to my stomach, how can we be here so soon? Life is moving too fast...blah blah blah..blah BLAH!

I make light of it here, but truly some days it really gets me down. I walked in from work today to see her graduation gown hanging in the dining room. This is just not going to go away! Then in my spirit, I heard God ask me, "Are you rejecting my will?"  Oh. Ooops again. (Maybe I should call this blog "Ooops"?) Why didn't I think of that before? I love my kids, but He loves them more. I have let the attitude creep in that I wish they were still little. "I miss that age", has come out of my mouth more and more when I see a little one under 5. But God let me know pretty clearly, that's not right. He has an INCREDIBLE plan for my children, and they need to graduate and grow up and discover that plan for themselves. What He also needs me to know, and deep down I need to realize this may be more important for my well being for me to "get this", is that He has incredible plans for me. I love being a mom. I truly wasn't one of those girls that planned and dreamed of the day, but when it was time for me to be mommy it fit me like a glove. Of course I'll still be mom, but my role is changing quickly. I must admit it scares me. Not only do I love being a mom, but although I wasn't perfect, I feel I was good at it. So now I am seeing I'm scared to not have something I am good at; and God is saying, "Are you rejecting My will?"

And I will say, "Of course not." I may have to start over trusting Him a few times. And He will definitely have more of my tears to collect; but as soon as I heard His voice and realized how disobedient I had been, I felt His peace.

Growing up, growing older and moving on is all part of God's will in our life no matter who you are. The blanks get filled in differently for each of us. The change that most of us fear is precisely what He is asking us to accept. I pray we all learn to accept it with grace and thrive in His will.