Accepting God's Will

Wow that title sounds intimidating! There are so many trails this post could take to explore the depths of this title, but I am merely discussing what I need to accept at this stage in my life; my children. They are growing up and leaving the nest. I promised myself for years I would handle this gracefully. I would give the a hug & a kiss, a little prayer of course and wave goodbye. I would keep busy in a multitude of ways and soon enough the visits from college would be upon me. Well, here it is, nine days from my daughter's graduation and I feel like my heart is being ripped out. My mind has wandered back to preschool and those adorable little granimal outfits, elementary school began the sports rush with teeball and soccer. It's like some sappy movie. Then suddenly I am going from sappy to sick to my stomach, how can we be here so soon? Life is moving too fast...blah blah blah..blah BLAH!

I make light of it here, but truly some days it really gets me down. I walked in from work today to see her graduation gown hanging in the dining room. This is just not going to go away! Then in my spirit, I heard God ask me, "Are you rejecting my will?"  Oh. Ooops again. (Maybe I should call this blog "Ooops"?) Why didn't I think of that before? I love my kids, but He loves them more. I have let the attitude creep in that I wish they were still little. "I miss that age", has come out of my mouth more and more when I see a little one under 5. But God let me know pretty clearly, that's not right. He has an INCREDIBLE plan for my children, and they need to graduate and grow up and discover that plan for themselves. What He also needs me to know, and deep down I need to realize this may be more important for my well being for me to "get this", is that He has incredible plans for me. I love being a mom. I truly wasn't one of those girls that planned and dreamed of the day, but when it was time for me to be mommy it fit me like a glove. Of course I'll still be mom, but my role is changing quickly. I must admit it scares me. Not only do I love being a mom, but although I wasn't perfect, I feel I was good at it. So now I am seeing I'm scared to not have something I am good at; and God is saying, "Are you rejecting My will?"

And I will say, "Of course not." I may have to start over trusting Him a few times. And He will definitely have more of my tears to collect; but as soon as I heard His voice and realized how disobedient I had been, I felt His peace.

Growing up, growing older and moving on is all part of God's will in our life no matter who you are. The blanks get filled in differently for each of us. The change that most of us fear is precisely what He is asking us to accept. I pray we all learn to accept it with grace and thrive in His will.